"CREATING IN URGENCY"- ANGIE WILLCUTT

“Angie Willcutt is a multi-disciplinary, self-taught artist from Kentucky with fixations on film photography/developing, music and fantasy. Most of Angie’s works are sporadic acts of mania and documentations of emotion. "CREATING IN URGENCY" is a written piece diving deeper into Angie’s personal creative process and relationship to mental health.”

Visit Angie's Bandcamp here for some of her music. 

CREATING IN URGENCY 

My thoughts have wandered. 

My hands have let loose. 

My eyes crave. 

I need to say something, but have stumbled on the words. I feel an urgency to communicate it, an urgency to drop the weight off my shoulders. To run full force ahead. Leaving the thoughts behind me in a trail of dust. 

I belch this mania through a camera lens. I feel my eyes wide. It feels necessary to capture. A documentation of my mental. 

I make sounds that tickle my brain to reach higher. In a haze, stuck in a loop. I break the chains with noise. 

My thoughts go to a forced sprint in this state of mind. I can’t let my visions slip through my fingers when I slow down. 

I must act now. 

I have fallen to my knees at perfectionism. I have basked in the eye of flaws. I reach for moments of this urgency. Documenting the rage, delusion, pleasure, shame, grief, and fantasy. 

I day dream. Sometimes I close my eyes. I use this creative process as a survival tactic. I harness the weight of my traumas onto what I can see with my eyes, hear with my ears, taste with my lips, smell with my nose, feel with my hands. 

I see it as a personal message urgently coming to fruition, awaiting release. Healing me. 

I must act now. 

All photos by A. Willcutt

1. Polaroid

2. Printer Scanner

3. Polaroid 

4. 35 mm self developed